“I always felt that I had a tendency to become schizophrenic because I just felt so nervous all the time I had all these nervous habits. I almost had compulsive disorder things that I would do like poping my knuckles and itching my face and flipping my hair. It was a mixture of hating people so much because they didn’t live up to my expectations and just being so fed up with being around the same kind of idiot all the time. I mean everyone was just a carbon copy of one another. That it was obvious in my face and how I reacted towards people that I could not stand them you know I had this personal vendetta against them because they were so macho and manly and stupid.
I started to be aware of this that people were noticing that I had this hatred towards a lot of people. And it was pretty much the general consensus with everyone that knew me that I couldn’t stand them and I was really edgy all the time. So I just started feeling really neurotic quite paranoid in a way because they knew I was going to freak out at any time. I thought I was this kid who would most likely succeed to bring an ak-47 to the school and blow everybody away.”
It’s strange how much I can relate to a dead man that I never knew. Actual writing to come later.